Angelic Mom : The Day I Stopped Yelling at my Kids

Angelic Mom : The Day I Stopped Yelling at my Kids: The Day I Stopped Yelling at my Kids Yes, I curbed my thirst to yell in one day. That doesn’t mean my throat wasn’t ticklin...

The Day I Stopped Yelling at my Kids

The Day I Stopped Yelling at my Kids

Yes, I curbed my thirst to yell in one day. That doesn’t mean my throat wasn’t tickling with desire. We Moms are truly amazing. We are required to express tenderness, and firmness while juggling a laundry basket, a blender, the dishes and a squirming toddler; usually as the four year old is expressing his curiosity over a pile of dog poop.

Our maternal instincts are tested to the upper limit for many days and continuous hours multiplied by children. Ah, we love it! We are super mom, miracle worker, and champion for our babies. Until our precious little ones strike that hidden nerve with wild audacity.  One moment we are holding the chalice awarded for nurturing and in the next the iniquitous evil Witch. 

Civility lost with a feud between siblings, or a raucous tantrum, or perhaps you are simply overwhelmed. I have learned to hold my tongue, while all about are losing theirs and retreat within. As I maintain a calm exterior, I boil within, all the while reciting a prayer, counting to 100, even humming the alphabet; all to keep from shouting, yelling or cursing out.

My first-born was four years old when I decided to give up yelling at a child “forever”. It was the Lenten season and so I tested my stamina for 40 days and then just kept going. My son is now 26 years old and his sister is 20.

My daughter claims I yelled at her once when she was in 8^th grade and she was so tortured by it she locked herself in her room in fear that I would kill her. She said that after a while I knocked on her door and apologized. Poor child.

Shedding the yelling Mother scene has been a surreptitious blessing for me. In not jumping to react, but rather distancing myself from the drama, admittedly checking out for a moment has helped me to be internally more peaceful, calm and intuitive. During the sibling dispute or the tantrum, I can stand back and sense more clearly what the antecedent may have been and how to move forward.

As I clutched to prayers not yelling, but truly calling on God’s help, I received miracle results. The bigger blessings include:  home is calmer, all learning to use inside voices, most of the time. We started to listen to one another and become mindful of underlining issues. The children have grown to value the art of discussing differences and problems and as a result find confidence in their problem solving skills. Most rewarding is realizing a model of good parenting will continue to future generations.  

I believe in you, the super mom, the marvelous amazing queen of calm. You can do it! Don’t do it all for them, do it for you, because you deserve peace.